We were all excited when Halloween Horror Nights finally started over at Universal Studios.
But nobody knew the serial killer was there, with a real chainsaw posing as a scare actor.
The best orgies were those thrown by the esoteric order.
Only too late would we discover what would become of our children.
(More terror than horror, but I think qualifies.)
"...is time to wake up John'"
.̶̢̠̲̯̳̜̠̝̩͎̩̖̲̣͐͂̿̓͐͂̄͛͝ͅ.̴̧̦̞̼͕̺̞̘̞̯͈͋͊͛͐̇̄͐́̎̂̇͘͠͝.̵̢̨̛͉͎̹̜̬̰̙͉̖̂͂͒̈́͐̏̄̀̏̃̓̿ ̵̡̢̝͉̫̤͖̓̔̓̐̌̌́̏̾̀͜͝͝t̶̖̬̺̜̲͔̖͇̖̩̣́͌̄̓͝ȟ̸̡̡͇̗͎̳̪̣̫͂̀̉̐̑̊̃̈́̒̌͘̚͝ȩ̴̢̘̩̼̓̇̈́͑́̋̍̐̒̔͋͘͝͠͝r̵̘͝͝ȅ̵̯̗̭̥̪̜͔̪͓́̄̊̇̈̓̉͝'̸̫͍̳̭̪̟͚̊̀́̒̐͠͝ş̷̧̪̦͈̦͙̹̔͜ͅ ̶͙͙̺̖̭̯̫͑̀́̿̿͋͘̚͝n̷͓̹̰̞͍̮͖͍̗̮̥̿̓͊͗͝ͅo̵̦̫̥͌̃͒͒͑̿̀̾̒͆͗̽̔͝ ̸͎́͆̀̃t̵̨͇̻̐͂́̐͠ǐ̶̛̦̯͕̖̹̀̔͆̽̏̈́̒͋̂m̶̠͓̳̪̲̜̩͎̗̺̄́͌̚é̶̠͇̦͎̘͆̊͠͠ ̴̢̟̤̯̎̀͊̄̉̃͘i̸̗̹̬̟͖̠̾̔͛͆͊͌̆̉̈̕͠͠ṋ̶̭̖̲̝̤͖͇̄̈͛͛͌̉͆̆͠͠ ̶̡͔̮͔̳͎̦̣͈͍̥̜̂̊̃͊͛͜͠t̵̢͚͆̓̂͛͋͆̀͋̅̅͜ḧ̶̨̨͔̗̱̭́̊ę̷̺͙̖̩̰͂͑͛̃̾̏̿̽͑̊̂͛ ̵̣̥̳͇̞̼̻̼̗͎̪̥̰̒͠ã̴̭̺͕̲͇̩̜͙̱̓̏̈́b̷̲́̀͊́̉ẏ̴̰̘͔̝͕̳̤̩̦̬̼͎̀͒̈́͠s̵̯̻̮͕̫̲̭̈͑͋̈́̀͠ͅs̶̡͕̮̣̣͉͙̩͚̈̋̎̂̉̅̑̒́̅̾͘̚ ̴̯̉́͒͌̆͋̏̌́̾̔̕͝ͅḑ̶̩̖͎̬̯͔̥̪̆̉̏͒̈́̔̅̈́͝͝o̷̡̧̙̗̗̗͉̮͙̮͈͔̐̊͌̐̊͋̊̍̄̐̓͐ç̵̟̤̬̪̼̩̋̀͜͜t̷̖͉͙̻̳͇͉͎̦̖̭̙̲̑̃̽̿̋̑̈̈́́̀̓̎͌ǒ̸͈̳͆͑̌̅͊́̈̕͝r̷͚̼̪̟̫͖̮̺̳̭̳̞͔͊͂͌͛̅̈́́̌͐̚͝͠
"It's just some weird optic illusion in the sky, not an actual door Josh".
Then the door in the sky slowly started to open up.
"I wish I was right all the time". 'Your wish is my command' the genie told the pessimist.
'You'd be example for others, a hero, who survived to tell one's tale!'
Said a terrorist, securing a black plastic bag over one's head for their transportation.
Intelligent aliens exist and have made contact.
Turns out they're capitalists too...
The doctor told her that she had twins but I knew better.
I still remember the noise that thing made as it crawled inside my wife.
"Put this in your mouth son, it will help with the fever"
I didn't have the heart to tell him what the gag was really for as I watched the bite mark ooze puss.
The gods are all real and answer all of our prayers.
To them it's hilarious that all of our suffering was caused by someone else praying for it.