Shitty Life Pro Tip

!shittylifeprotips

@lemmy.world
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SLPT: No wine glass? Jam a bundle of uncooked spaghetti into the bottle.

SLPT: No wine glass? Jam a bundle of uncooked spaghetti into the bottle.

Make sure they stick out a bit on the top. The capillary acton from the tightly packed spahetti draws the wine up so you can drink it.

If you're constipated and happen to have a vagina, you can press the back wall of your vagina with your thumb and squeeze the poop out like squeezing a tube of toothpaste.

If you're constipated and happen to have a vagina, you can press the back wall of your vagina with your thumb and squeeze the poop out like squeezing a tube of toothpaste.

Going literally shitty on this one. This will probably also be a decent survey of lemmy's demographics; every man I've shared this with reacts in abject terror while all the women who didn't know you can do this look like a divine revelation had struck them. 🤣

SLPT: You can make like 30-50% of your social circle think you're psychic (or just weirdly smart) by asking them to think of a number 1-10 and asking if it's 7.

SLPT: You can make like 30-50% of your social circle think you're psychic (or just weirdly smart) by asking them to think of a number 1-10 and asking if it's 7.

Helps if they 're not huge nerds who spend all their time talking about the true definition of randomness and/or already have a number they consider the sexiest have reduced STEM knowledge overall, somewhat irrespective of other intelligences.

SLPT: Believe in karma? Leave your torrents seeding for idle good karma.

SLPT: Believe in karma? Leave your torrents seeding for idle good karma.

SLPT: Before taking what you think is the biggest shit of your life in the restroom of someone you barely know, make yourself a favor and flush the toilet once to make sure it is functional.

SLPT: Before taking what you think is the biggest shit of your life in the restroom of someone you barely know, make yourself a favor and flush the toilet once to make sure it is functional.

It's a good tip, but shitty.

This just happened to me in the guest bathroom of someone I barely knew. The bathroom was meters away from the meeting.

Never. Again.

SLPT: If you’re struggling with the cost of living and want to save on transport costs, try watering down your gas a little to help get some extra miles out of each tank

SLPT: If you’re struggling with the cost of living and want to save on transport costs, try watering down your gas a little to help get some extra miles out of each tank

SLPT: in a rush after a snowstorm? Skip brushing your car off by simply driving fast! The air will brush your car off for you.

SLPT: in a rush after a snowstorm? Skip brushing your car off by simply driving fast! The air will brush your car off for you.

This can also save you shoveling/plowing your driveway, simply drive over the accumulated snow at high speed. Make sure to avoid getting stuck however.

SLPT: A spool of network cable can hold 1GB of internet traffic per meter. Leave one plugged in to save up internet for when the power goes out.

SLPT: A spool of network cable can hold 1GB of internet traffic per meter. Leave one plugged in to save up internet for when the power goes out.

SLPT: Cats don't understand human speech, but they all read Farsi due to genetics. Use this to communicate with and train your cat.

SLPT: Cats don't understand human speech, but they all read Farsi due to genetics. Use this to communicate with and train your cat.