I am very grateful for all insight given here. While its not a silver bullet, its another perspective we can take into consideration when trying to help her
The “We expect you to get better after taking this” part is interesting, because I was thinking that it was more in terms of "We expect you to take your medication". Taking some pills is something she can control, but "getting better" is not up to her.
The unfortunate part of Strattera is that its a long lasting medicine, so just taking it sporadically is probably not very valuable. So something with more direct effect might be better actually, where she can have them at ready to take when its her choice. But then the ones we have tried had other shitty side effects
While i think i knew that, its so hard to not lean towards something that (from my perspective) seems to work. But you are not the only one here with this idea, I cannot overlook that and might just have to accept that meds are not for her. Thanks
I am not surprised at all if this is a major part of it, it's not something she has expressed though (which is completely understandable for a 10 yo I think) so we are only guessing. She took these meds for a couple of months before she stopped, several others before that (that didnt work for different other reasons).
I greatly appreciate every insight and idea I have gotten here. Im neurotypical myself so all I can do is try my best at understanding, and reach out to places like this to try and get a different perspective.
While we understand that a school change is difficult (for any child) and the things you mentioned about her previous experiences with meds, we have a hard time finding the connection. It might sound like a very obvious connection, but we have tried so many things to figure it out that the conclusion came pretty much from exclusion. So when you say there might be one still I appreciate that insight, we need to rethink that part.
We have tried trading it for things she wants and tried giving her some kind of choice in for example when she wants to take the meds or how, to give her a sense of ownership of the situation. We have told her it is ultimately her choice if she wants to take them or not, hoping she would feel the difference herself and choose to start again.
We definitely see the connection and think we have a pretty good idea why she is not taking the meds. A big part of the problem is that we have been told by school and doctors for a couple of years now what to do, and we have done as instructed because they are supposed to be professionals. And the result is like you described, she does not trust us fully anymore.
Im certain she feels better from the meds, but perhaps not directly. But all the fights and irritation that can be avoided has so many side effects. And we saw a very different person back when she took them, happy and at least more content. Its a bit of a catch-22 at this point and I just wish there was something we could do.
I do believe that the autism part of her is whats causing the most issues, PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance, meds being the demand in this case) specifically. But like you say she is subject to outside circumstances all the time and specifically (I should probably have mentioned this one) a change of school at the same time she stopped taking her meds. Her previous school was garbage, the new one is miles better but we still struggle with attendance because of previous experience. We have really tried connecting the school and meds situations but not come up with anything that has helped either
My wife has taken facebook route and are in several groups about autism and ADHD, but we struggle to find anywhere that is specific to PDA and ADHD (problematic duo as much of their traits go against each other). We have tried to apply whatever trickery we get from the groups we are in (and of course all the doctors we are speaking to every week) but to no avail. We have gotten lots of good advice on other parts of this though, so it has not been in vein
@spainball
@lemmy.world