A door-to-door sales company that sells "No Soliciting" signs
Came up with this during the two days I mistakenly tried to start a new career.
Exactly, except we provide an actually useful service. In the age of every Tom, Dick, and Harry trying to sell you a "subscription" under the guise of "IoT", isn't it better to just tell those solar/HVAC/Spectrum people to just fuck off?
How better to do that than one of my shiny new "No Soliciting" signs? I guarantee (30-day warranty) that these beautiful enameled signs will tell the best of door-to-door salespeople, "Not today. Not on my lawn. Certainly not on my porch!"
I know what you're saying, "Couldn't I just make the sign myself?" Yes, you could, and it would make total sense to do so, if we lived in the 50s. These days, you need a service, that will be there 24/7. You might say, doesn't my already existing security service already do that?" To that I say, "Yes!" Our service is basically taking the load off the security system, by providing a signature piece of lawn statement, that tells certain people that they're not welcome. Perfect for Karens!