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So, be an asshole? What's it like being the only person on the planet?

It's being a counter-asshole. The real asshole was the original designer who decided everyone would be in cars.

You don't have an air conditioned car that can recycle your air for you. So yes, be an asshole. There are times when it's necessary to defend yourself.

The person could use the walk-up non-automatic teller to perform their transaction. They were already talking to one…

Yeah, weird some asshole thought everyone would be in cars in a DRIVE THROUGH ATM lane.

I agree with your final sentence, but this scenario is not one of those times.

Yes, without presenting any options for people walking, when obvious people who walk also use the bank/money. IT'S POSITIVELY STUPID.