🤗 I hope it helps, and even more, I hope you get the care you need. Diagnosis and medication made a huge difference in my life, most importantly in how I think of myself. Doing anything I can do to help anyone else on that road feels really good, because it's as much an act of self-compassion as it is an act of service.
Those ears! 😍 I wonder what it's like to be able to hear mouse farts and bird burps?
There's something tricksy about their faces, like maybe they're the kinda guys who might try to hide extra rows of razor-sharp teeth behind the cute front ones. Big chaotic neutral energy!
Oh yeah, making the list is going to be a pain in the ass! For mine, I started a little note for it in my phone, and every time I came across an ADHD thing while internetting that made me think "omg me too!" I would put it on the list. I also sorta "cheated" to get started by looking at lists of symptoms and problems and coping strategies and copying anything that was relevant to me. I think it helped that I didn't set out to get it all down at once, I just added to it here and there as I thought of things while doing other things, and it grew.
Here's some of mine, maybe this can help you get the ball rolling?
Symptoms in Adulthood:
Attempts to help self:
They’re called a kissing bug because they tend to target the lips and face, as they’re active at night and that’s typically what’s exposed when people are sleeping.
This is the second-worst news you could have given me on this subject, the first-worst being "and they're in your pillows right now."
I hoped to get some "fuck yeah, let's never learn about those bastards TOGETHER!" in response but feared I would get informative replies like yours. I pine for my ignorance.
When we're gaming together but he gets distracted by his phone, I'll call my husband back to the game with, "Play dom-jot, hew-mon!" but I never stab him if he's cheating.
Anybody else flatly refusing to learn more about kissing bugs? That name combined with the death toll gives me thorough heebie-jeebies.
It's like I have to fight against my brain to be able to do the minimum necessary effort at the things I *need *to do for work, at home, etc. And all of the things I want to do but don't strictly need to, like hobbies, passions, career aspirations and such, there's simply no mental effort or focus left for most of them most of the time. I constantly feel like I'm not able to focus on anything, I can't perform at my best, always procrastinating, always having to focus all of the little focus I have on simply managing to stay afloat, always drained, always stressed, always overwhelmed with everything. Always feeling guilty for slacking off and being "lazy". Feeling like I'm wasting my life, unable to do things which I really, really want to do but for whatever reason can't bring myself to focus on.
This is classic ADHD and is obviously taking a toll on you! I relate so much. I was able to kinda keep it together in that same way until I got pregnant a little over 16 years ago, then the hormonal changes and the mental burden of caring for a child absolutely wrecked my ability to mask at all, but I didn't get diagnosed until a few months ago.
If you felt like you generally had a good rapport with that doctor, it might be worth going back to emphasize these aspects of your struggle and the toll they're taking on your life and health, but if you didn't have a good vibe from the doctor, see someone else.
I found it very helpful to prepare a list of all the ways I was struggling, including anything I was doing to mask my struggles. I used to be late for everything and forget appointments, but now every event in my calendar has 5 notifications in the lead up so I can't forget (1 week, 1 day, 12 hours, 4 hours, 1 hour). I bet you've developed similar systems that seem excessive to outside observers but totally sensible to your fellow ADHD'ers, and talking to your doctor about the ways your coping strategies cause their own difficulties and burdens might help them realize that you're genuinely doing everything you can but still need help.
@the_itsb
@midwest.social