It is very annoying. I wish people could just see my perspective and why it’s funny, and I could know when what I’m saying is offensive. Why can’t strong opinions lead more often to interesting arguments rather than hostility? Idk. I can look at both sides of anything and it seems like most people can’t.
Like being offensive, I feel like I can’t feel it when I am burdensome, so my RSD feels rational practicing on false alarms.
Saying controversial shit is pretty fun. So is straddling the post-ironic line between blunt honesty and absurd sarcasm. I’m just (intending to be) done with pointless conflict. Note in my original comment I said it used to be my main emotion, and for a while now I’ve gone past the surface of feelings for the first time in my life it seems.
It is good. I crave the replies and visibility but fear being a burden or at least giving false impressions.
That’s my point. It was mildly exhilarating and gave me something to think a lot about, but I eventually realized it’s not that productive or enjoyable. As a PDAer I kinda like the negative feedback or at least get drawn by it, but it ends up being a drain and people don’t like you. Initially I’ve mostly just made jokes people found offensive for reasons I don’t understand and then I’d have to justify myself. For a while now I’ve leaned towards heavy context/caveating, being nice, and conflict resolution, online and irl. It’s a lot of work, but preferable. I miss the walls of text a bit, and some bridges can’t be unburned, but that’s where I’m at.
And then I feel bad for having sad-posted and need to correct myself, but the feelings will return eventually (but not aa bad?) and I’ll have lied again.
I refresh way too much. Maybe I should consider… tho you just suggested it doesn’t work.
@QueerCommie
@hexbear.net