How do you live as an autistic?

It's hard to answer your question without proper context.

I live functionally with a partner from the outside looking in. I have a job and I pay my bills mostly on time. I have a lot of debt just like the average American, and I'm one or two bad days away from losing my sanity/livelihood. I go to work every day to a job that I don't enjoy to barely scrape by my bills. So in that case, no different from a neurotypical.

I do have sensory issues, a history of trauma from being undiagnosed and a lack of support, and I have days where I'd rather not be alive. Some days I have to go full throttle on a quarter-tank of gas. Some days I'm in stop-and-go traffic with a sports car. My house is cluttered, my laundry hamper is full, and I've had dishes in the sink for days. My animals eat better than I do, and I am in no way shape, or form ready to have a child.

I'm obsessed with things to a fault and will dive deeply to 100% understand and master the things I am interested in. This will come at the expense of executive functioning. I am not interested in what is in mainstream media or news, and can barely hold a conversation in my office past the 2-minute mark.

I was good in school, and somehow decent at a sport (until I couldn't deal with it anymore and had a breakdown). I loved undergrad and thrived in structure and freedom from an unsupportive family. I did great until I lost interest and hope and had a breakdown, never finishing grad school.

I've hopped from job to job as I couldn't keep one steady that I liked. I was either mistreated, overworked, or severely underpaid, all while being socially “different” from people. Trust me, I can mask up a storm, but that doesn't mean my responses are always “socially appropriate.” Years of cynicism brought that about.

Then I read more, studied more, have an ND partner who didn't tell me she “knew” I was autistic, but treated me in a way that fit my puzzle pieces. Some therapy, advocating for myself with my PCP for some referrals, medical debt, and 27 years of trauma later? I'm diagnosed as an adult with Autism and ADHD, and the only support I have is other autistic people on Lemmy, Facebook, and local people I can pinpoint have it. That and some different medicines I'll probably be on for life with an increasing tolerance as I get older and adapt.

All in all, I'm fine