Under patriarchy, men are the only ones seen as having agency so they are assumed to always be the aggressor. The assumption is true, even when the reality is not. At the same time, men are socialized to ignore boundaries meaning that most of the time they will be the aggressor, reinforcing the assumption and justifying the application of laws that align with that assumption.
Men will always be the abusers and never the abused. Men will never be seen as the care givers, even when they are the actual care givers. Men will always be the rapist, never the victim. And, because society tells men these things, we often enact them against our own interests.
The fact that this logic doesn't make sense is something feminists have been calling out for a long time as part of the larger system of patriarchy. While patriarchy usually gives more power to men, it doesn't always. But even when it does seem to benefit men, it still harms men... Just like how every other system of oppression harms everyone involved, not just the oppressed.
The logic should apply both ways, but it can't because patriarchy prevents it. Meanwhile, people who don't have a critique of patriarchy can't really explain why this is the case. They simply point to it and say, "this is unfair and it hurts men," without having enough context to actually fix the underlying problem.
Have you studied history? If you had, you'd know that what we have now can be called such only if you're the activist trying to push very certain agenda in very aggresive way. Women nowadays have the same opportunities as men. You can't achieve something in your life? Congratulations, everyone has the objectives they can't accomplish. Everyone have faced lots of shit including sexism and/or discrimination. Unfortunately, it is as it is not due any separate group of people, assholes could be found anywhere. You and me both most certainly were assholes in someone's eyes too.
You're a feminist? That's nice, there are still lots of work to be done, like correcting the upbringing methodology, both for men and women. Just don't forget, you're doing this to achieve the equality, not to overthrow the balance, because by doing so you'll cause the opposing side to greatly overreact, and in that case lots of progress would be undone. Don't fuck it up please.
