He's written what is essentially a giant screed of notes on the war of what he did and I read through them all. Not published or anything, but I have it all digitally transcribed after a lot of work. I haven't told anyone except people online and people not connected to my family, because his condition for telling me more stuff is that I don't tell the family. I think its more important to get all the details, personally. He said he gave some vague notions of bad stuff happening to his kids, but nothing in detail.
He spent a lot of time with me alone is the main thing I think. It was a pretty long drive to get to school and I figure his mind wandered a lot during it and he was the only person able to take me to it for like 7 years. I was also a very curious and critical kid and I think he liked that and enjoyed encouraging it. In a fucked up way, I do think he had a good interest in mind by telling me about this at a formative age. It certainly made me very discerning about what was in my history books in school. But it was probably way too early to tell me. Maybe when I was a teen. But I also get a hint that he wanted to discourage me from joining the military, and my parents would goad me with the idea a lot citing him as a good example. So maybe it was his nuclear solution, and despite being an incredibly shitty person, he does feel regret about it or at least didn't want me to be subjected to the PTSD he has. Which is something, I guess.