!asklemmy
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I had a friend in college that would just say, "So, what's your deal?"
I'm shocked at how well it worked. Open ended, so you only get what they're willing to talk about, but they'll still be ok talking.
Delivery had a lot to do with softening the approach.
Definitely not for all situations, but to be fair, no approach could be.
"What's YOUR deal?" sounds pretty aggressive, "what's your DEAL?" sounds borderline inflammatory, but I think there's a very neutral delivery without particular stress that sounds more like an open ended question than an aggression. Still, probably not great around fully sober folks.
It might work in a college environment but if as an adult someone would ask me that I would not take it kindly.
very neutral delivery without particular stress that sounds more like an open ended question
So. WHAT's your deal?