I'll agree that state violence is bullshit. If they really wanted to help people, they could give them counselling, or maybe do something about our nightmarish society that atomises and impoverishes everyone - including men, women and others that fall outside that binary - and drives people to extremism out of desperation.
Unfortunately they are part of the problem. When all you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail. When all you have is state repression, you're going to treat every problem like political dissidence, and that's going to create more terrorism, not less.
This something you need to understand: the state and capital are our common enemy. They work together to keep us poor and separated. Women are not your enemy, they are suffering under this system too. Our actual enemies are the ones that want to push narratives that divide us along lines of gender, race, sexuality, ability, poverty, whatever they can find, because the more we blame one another, the less we pay attention to our oppressors, and the less we work together to fight against them.
To everyone else here attacking OP: saying "fuck you, you deserve repression" is not only false, it doesn't help. This language I've used here has been shown to be effective at combating bigotry, probably because it's true.
To OP, if you don't understand why you're being targeted, this article explains how terrorism is being connected with incels, and also why state responses to terrorism aren't actually all that helpful: https://theconversation.com/why-charging-incels-with-terrorism-may-make-matters-worse-139457