i'm sorry that you experienced something so unfortunate and uncomfortable. i hope you're okay. i have a few thoughts for you:
sakai is fine, but frankly it doesn't seem like a fantastic work to me. yes, it says a lot of things that people need to hear, but it just doesn't seem very intersectional to me. there's no monopoly on exploitation; you can be white and also be exploited. of course, whiteness generally implies a higher level of exploitation
socialism is not only more correct but feels better when it comes from a place of love. you should be able to love yourself and your class(es). apart from being able to distinguish the progressive forces in society, this love should even extend to your enemies to some extent because we can see the amazing potential for a unified humanity of which everyone will be a part.
it can be easy to get bogged down by the infinite knowledge of current events, or of economic exploitation and its horrors, or from alienation/pain/disability ultimately caused by capitalism. i think it's necessary to have a correct philosophical foundation first and foremost, in order to give yourself a good framework to digest that infinite information. that framework should also be applied to your own personal life, which is the only way it can be solidified but also the only way you can truly understand yourself and your woes, thus providing you with revolutionary optimism. to the extent that you can, study dialectical materialism!